During my second year of graduate school, my boyfriend casually remarked that he wanted his future wife to stay at home with their children. My jaw literally dropped. I was both astounded and appalled. He couldn’t be serious. We had just had our first big discussion about the future of our relationship, and it was clear to both of us that we would be getting married. The only detail to decide was the timing — I had suggested the summer after we both advanced to candidacy, so that we could be married by the time we went on the job market.